Joke Time!

[LexTer]

sa start lang talaga masaya makakita ng snow pero kung everyday na nakakasawa na. sobrang lamig nakakadagdag ng homesick.

+1

nung una ako makakita pasimple lang ako. para di magmukhang inosente. pero sa tutoo lang gusto ko gumulong sa tuwa. pero nung huli wala ng dating. masasabi mo talagang badtrip yelo na naman.

[mmanson]

A foreign Newspaper wants to publish a report about the life in Egypt,So
they send a female reporter to interview the common citizen in egypt..when
she arrives at cairo..she picks a random guy ,and starts her interview

Reporter:Hi
Egyptian:We 3alkom el salam ya 2otta
Reporter:Do u speak english?
Egyptian:Berfect
Reporter:Do u mind if i interview u?
Egyptian:No,i dont have a mind
Reporter:What's your name?
Egyptian:Taha
Reporter:***?
Taha: I love it
Reporter:oh no, i meant male or female?
Taha (yelling): what do u sink?
Reporter:Its just for the sake of the report..never mind...male....
Taha:yas male..and i can brove it any time u want
Reporter:No,thanks,I'll take u for ur word...so..how do u find life here in egypt?
Taha:Egybt..very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz
Reporter:oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
Taha: Byramids,nice wezar,nice food
Reporter:Ok..lets move on..what do u do?
Taha: I am very well ,sank u
Reporter:No,I mean do u have a job?
Taha(looking around him and whispering):Jobat?..no i dont have any (jobat)..lessa mastaba7nash..do u have a (job) with u?..we can esmoke it in my car..dont warry about bolice
Reprter:Oh my god,DO YOU WORK?
Taha:Yas yas..Taxi drivar
Reporter:What do u think about the traffic problem in egypt?
Taha:Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did the circle street and za me7war street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back..niahahaha3
Reporter:What about the economic problems in Egypt?
Taha:I do not undurstand what u say
Reporter:I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt?
Taha: No NO NO..egybt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alot of water..and we have byramidz
Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
Taha:No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend i know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home..u can only give it to za banzeena man..they take any money
Reporter: let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have a lot of money?
Taha:me?! ..Not alot..but I eat and drink Al7amdulelah?
Reporter:Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment
Reporter:And what does the government do with the money?
Taha:Zey Build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:well , Ok...Do u vote?
Taha:What duz zat mean?
Reporter:Do u choose your president
Taha:Mubarak?
Reporter:yes
Taha(nervously): i didnt give my voice..but if i was..i will give him my voice
Reporter:Why him?
Taha:Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane
Reporter:But there r no wars right now
Taha:But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it
Reporter:what about the last 26 years ?
Taha:I got marry..and have 3ala2 and Amira..and drive taxi
Reporter:No,i meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years
Taha:He build circle street,me7war street and make all streets one way
Reporter:Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha
Taha:No broblem,only 10 bounds
Reporter:I never said i will pay u for this
Taha: Ok..just give me the (job) then..we smoke ,and make head
Reporter:Grrrrrrrr
Taha:ok ok..need a Taxi?

waah..nahilo ko dito ah..hehehe

[architect]

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen
her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the
best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was
horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the
exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her step mom to exchange it, but she refused.
"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm
wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother, who graciously said, "Never mind,
sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous
dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother,
"Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another
occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm
wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."

[LexTer]

nyahahaha. nanghiram ng dress stepmom nya sa mom nya. :D

[chua_riwap]

I got this from my Inbox today.......



Wowowee Q & A

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants!

1. Q: "Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?" A: "Utong!"

2. Q: "Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?" A: "Umiilaw!"

3. Q: "Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao? A: "Humanitarian?"

4. Q: "Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga." A: "Ninja?"

5. Q: "Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?" A: "Sunog!"

6. Q: "Magbigay ng sikat na Willie." A: "Willie da pooh!"

7. Q: "Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?" A: "Hindunesia?"

8. Q: "Anong hayop si King Kong?" A: "Pagong!"

9. Q: "Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain." A: "t*e!"

10. Q: "Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?" A: "Canadia!"

11. Q: "Kumpletuhin - Little Red." A: "Ribbon!"

12 Q: "Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?" A: "Buhok?"

13. Q: "Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin." A: "Tinga!"

14. Q: "Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?" A: "Pag balita?"

15. Q: "Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?" A: "Baby oil?"

16. Q: "Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?" A: "Sweetserland?"

17. Q: "Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?" A: "Godzilla?"

18. Q: "Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?" A: "Itlog ng tao!"

19. Q: "Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?" A: "Sadista?"

20. Q: "Blank is the best policy." A: "Ice tea?"

22. Q: "Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?" A: "Sa likod!"

23. Q: "Fill in the blanks - Beauty is in the eye of the ____." A: "Tiger?"

24. Q: "Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?" A: "Saging!"

25. Q: "Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?" A: "Baliw!"

26. Q: "Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?" A: "Kamag-anak!"

27. Q: "Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?" A: "Sa motel?"

28. Q: "Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?" A: "Cold water!"

29. Q: "Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?" A: "Si scooby dooby doo?"

30. Q: "Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka." A: "Operadang bakla?"

31. Q: "Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?" A: "Madami!"

32. Q: "Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?" A: "Abnormal

[Starex_Gold]

putrages :hysterical:

Hinukay mo ang thread na ito?

[chua_riwap]

^^ Naluha nga ako sa katatawa nyan.......

[prince777]

*Chua

got the same message almost 3wks ago...di ko alam may thread palang ganito!..

:naughty:

[_Cathy_]

Post pa kayo ng jokes. Tawang tawa ako dun sa pinatay ni David si Godzilla!

[olidotcom]

wahahhahaaa!