Divorce in the Philippines - are you in favor or not?

**niky** · May 25th, 2012 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by Ry_Tower

We'll, there is forgiveness. Trust, yan ang medyo complicated and very subjective.

The problem is... what if the person isn't in love with you, anymore?

Cheaters cheat. That's all there is to it. Some can reform and become faithful again, but I've seen my share of them fall off the wagon, over and over.. it's not pretty, and it's not good to subject the spouse (and children) to this kind of emotional trauma.

Kumbaga... in Philippine culture, we have this idealized image of the loving, forgiving spouse who's willing to take any and all crap from their unfaithful or abusive partner. That's not fair to the loving party. Best to give them their lives back and not to force them to either live with someone who is unloving and unfaithful or to live alone in misery while the unfaithful spouse is free to do as they please.

**ghosthunter** · May 25th, 2012 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by niky

The problem is... what if the person isn't in love with you, anymore?

Cheaters cheat. That's all there is to it. Some can reform and become faithful again, but I've seen my share of them fall off the wagon, over and over.. it's not pretty, and it's not good to subject the spouse (and children) to this kind of emotional trauma.

Kumbaga... in Philippine culture, we have this idealized image of the loving, forgiving spouse who's willing to take any and all crap from their unfaithful or abusive partner. That's not fair to the loving party. Best to give them their lives back and not to force them to either live with someone who is unloving and unfaithful or to live alone in misery while the unfaithful spouse is free to do as they please.

Cheaters cheat. Exactly.

The nature of the person will always return no matter how they try to change themselves.

Proven time and time again.

It might sound harsh it is the truth.

It is difficult to face the truth about people, especially those who you used to love and care about.

**niky** · May 25th, 2012 06:49 PM

Sadly... I've seen some very good people fall victim to falling in love with a cheater.

**Ry_Tower** · May 25th, 2012 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by ghosthunter

I might be able to forgive but I am definitely not trusting her again, especially what I uncovered when I was digging for more information.

Like I said, can you trust your money to someone who robbed your house?

Like I said, both forgiveness and trust must be genuine. If either is missing then I guess you have answered your own question.

On another note, the current divorce bill is lacking or even weak IMHumbleO. For it to truly cure the problem of assholes and dysfunctional families that is sometimes associated with it, then the person that will violate the marriage - the culprit for the marriage's failure - must not be allowed to re-marry again. Branded as one unfit for marriage.

Why? Because divorce per se can also be a way for some individual to circumnavigate the law to choose - with good or bad reason -to find another partner the same way that the "can afford" can get away with annulment when in fact they are not psychologically incapacitated.

How many rich guy/women have we known to get divorce as if they're just getting a new car? People who want divorce should go the full distance IMO so that they can truly say that they tried to solve the marriage but that it is for naught indeed.

Now how about those that will say that both parties are just not compatible that is why it's not working anymore, then as a consequence both will not be able to re-marry if they can't solve their present marital issue. Dapat legal separation lang sila sice both party is at fault as admitted. Para walang palusutan. Of course some will always find a partner/FB, but at least he/she cannot claim to be fit for marriage. Thus being in marriage becomes a symbol of being able to - get away with it

- upheld a truly honorable status. Marriage is not an easy endeavor and young people should be reminded of it. Many couples are married hastily for whatever reasons other than being truly in love and ready for it. This way, the divorce law will become reminder to would be hubby & wife that there will be consequences if either one or both screw it up.

Just my own opinion.

**[archie]** · May 25th, 2012 07:19 PM

For the question, yes, im in favor. Unfair lalo na para sa mga biktima ng gold diggers.

Perosnally, hindi ako magpapakasal until magkaroon ng divorce law. Feeling may pera hahaha

**Boy Bastos** · May 25th, 2012 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by Ry_Tower

Like I said, both forgiveness and trust must be genuine. If either is missing then I guess you have answered your own question.

On another note, the current divorce bill is lacking or even weak IMHumbleO. For it to truly cure the problem of assholes and dysfunctional families that is sometimes associated with it, then the person that will violate the marriage - the culprit for the marriage's failure - must not be allowed to re-marry again. Branded as one unfit for marriage.

Why? Because divorce per se can also be a way for some individual to circumnavigate the law to choose - with good or bad reason -to find another partner the same way that the "can afford" can get away with annulment when in fact they are not psychologically incapacitated.

How many rich guy/women have we known to get divorce as if they're just getting a new car? People who want divorce should go the full distance IMO so that they can truly say that they tried to solve the marriage but that it is for naught indeed.

Now how about those that will say that both parties are just not compatible that is why it's not working anymore, then as a consequence both will not be able to re-marry if they can't solve their present marital issue. Dapat legal separation lang sila sice both party is at fault as admitted. Para walang palusutan. Of course some will always find a partner/FB, but at least he/she cannot claim to be fit for marriage. Thus being in marriage becomes a symbol of being able to - get away with it

- upheld a truly honorable status. Marriage is not an easy endeavor and young people should be reminded of it. Many couples are married hastily for whatever reasons other than being truly in love and ready for it. This way, the divorce law will become reminder to would be hubby & wife that there will be consequences if either one or both screw it up.

Just my own opinion.

Madali lang sabihin ang forgiveness at return of trust, pero sa case pala ni ghosthunter na walking man with a bird **** in the head :D eh mahirap yan gawin agad. Love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much couldn't see that I was blind to let you goooohhhhh I can't escape the pain inside 'cause loooovvveeeeee takes timeeee I don't wanna be herrreee I don't wanna be here aloneeee

**ghosthunter** · May 25th, 2012 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by Ry_Tower

Like I said, both forgiveness and trust must be genuine. If either is missing then I guess you have answered your own question.

Just my own opinion.

Try this out: be the victim of an extra marital affair.

Don't just "imagine" being in the shoes of one.

It's very different when you know there is no "reset" button to get out of the situation.

Let us see if you can still say the same.

When the trust is gone, it is gone and never coming back.

**Ry_Tower** · May 25th, 2012 08:02 PM

^Like I said, trust is complicated and subjective. What each person can take is different, not all peope are the same. I may not have experienced what you have experienced, but that does not guarantee also that we will have the same reaction or maybe course of action.

I hope you don't think I'm telling you how to handle you're married life because that is what not my post means. Neutral ang post ko.

We'll, there is forgiveness. Trust, yan ang medyo complicated and very subjective.

Malinaw naman diba, Trust is complicated and very subjective. I hope this clears it up.

**falken** · May 25th, 2012 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by timrev

meron nga annulment parang divorce narin yun hayaan nyo magdusa yun mga gusto makipaghiwalay jan...yun ang ginusto nila e..ang divorce ay pinadaling annulment...well opinion ko ho iyon ayaw ko ng divorce bill. kaya yun mga magpapakasal jan magisip na muna...

Bakit gusto mo pang magdusa pa ang mga taong miserable na nga ang pagsasama? Sa palagay mo ginusto nila yung masira ang pagsasama nila? People change, if someone in the union commited adultery, or became an abusive spouse, dapat pa ba sila magsama pa? Marami sa mga taong separated have tried to repair their marriage, some succeed, others don't. So should the ones who tried their best and failed continue suffering?!