Divorce in the Philippines - are you in favor or not?

**_Cathy_** · April 29th, 2018 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by Archerfish

Perhaps I qualify to your description... I always wanted to live to please my wife. Unfortunately, most of the time I have failed.

Seriously?

Codependency is a type of dysfunctional relationship

Experts say it's a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.

**Archerfish** · April 29th, 2018 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by _Cathy_

Seriously?

Yes, I'm serious. This is one of the reasons why I didn't have any extra marital relationship for the past 24 years of my married life. Even the very appearance of flirting, I avoid it as much as possible. The same reason why I don't have Facebook, I only share the account of my wife. This is for accountability reasons. I should be accountable to my wife and my wife to me.

You may find it weird, but my wife knows my PIN code and passwords for all of my accounts. For bank accounts, it is shared as "husband or wife" name account. And this includes my phone, she can open this anytime.

By the way, if ever I'm home I make it sure that all messages have been deleted!
[emoji1]

I'm just joking... I know you know that. Again, for accountability reasons.

So this lady I met many years ago said that, "I'm the most boring guy he ever met!"

**dreamur** · April 29th, 2018 12:32 PM

Originally Posted by Archerfish

Yes, I'm serious. This is one of the reasons why I didn't have any extra marital relationship for the past 24 years of my married life. Even the very appearance of flirting, I avoid it as much as possible. The same reason why I don't have Facebook, I only share the account of my wife. This is for accountability reasons. I should be accountable to my wife and my wife to me.

You may find it weird, but my wife knows my PIN code and passwords for all of my accounts. For bank accounts, it is shared as "husband or wife" name account. And this includes my phone, she can open this anytime.

By the way, if ever I'm home I make it sure that all messages have been deleted!
[emoji1]

I'm just joking... I know you know that. Again, for accountability reasons.

So this lady I met many years ago said that, "I'm the most boring guy he ever met!"

Appear brother! Only married people will understand this mantra - a happy wife is a happy life.

Repeat after me.... [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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**Archerfish** · April 29th, 2018 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by dreamur

Appear brother! Only married people will understand this mantra - a happy wife is a happy life.

Repeat after me.... [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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"Gimme payb!!!" Others think that doing this makes you "ander". I beg to disagree, I'm the who is in command. I simply follow the higher authority in the proper order of hierarchy. That is, the husband is the leader of the household and the wife and children submit to his authority as the husband submits himself to the "person given the highest authority here on Earth".

Hey! You didn't come last time...

EDIT: you didn't "appear" last time

**travajante** · April 29th, 2018 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Archerfish

Yes, I'm serious. This is one of the reasons why I didn't have any extra marital relationship for the past 24 years of my married life. Even the very appearance of flirting, I avoid it as much as possible. The same reason why I don't have Facebook, I only share the account of my wife. This is for accountability reasons. I should be accountable to my wife and my wife to me.

You may find it weird, but my wife knows my PIN code and passwords for all of my accounts. For bank accounts, it is shared as "husband or wife" name account. And this includes my phone, she can open this anytime.

By the way, if ever I'm home I make it sure that all messages have been deleted!
[emoji1]

I'm just joking... I know you know that. Again, for accountability reasons.

So this lady I met many years ago said that, "I'm the most boring guy he ever met!"

If one can't do this, he's not wired for marriage. Salute yah, sir!

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

**dreamur** · April 29th, 2018 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by Archerfish

"Gimme payb!!!" Others think that doing this makes you "ander". I beg to disagree, I'm the who is in command. I simply follow the higher authority in the proper order of hierarchy. That is, the husband is the leader of the household and the wife and children submit to his authority as the husband submits himself to the "person given the highest authority here on Earth".

Hey! You didn't come last time...

EDIT: you didn't "appear" last time

Next time bro...had to answer a call of duty

P.S. hehe...got your joke [emoji23]

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**uls** · April 29th, 2018 01:21 PM

i'm single so i wouldn't know

but from what i observed sa friends ko who are married...

meron dominante ang lalake, meron ung tinatawag na "kumander"

friend A has control of his own money, his own bank accounts, 1 night every week meron siya night out with barkada (strictly no wife kasama), other nights lumalabas with the wife, every sunday golf (no wife kasama),

friend B nakay misis ang pera, homebody, like other guys here "happy wife happy life"

pansin ko dito may mga guys nag ko-consult sa misis ano car ang bibilhin, pati kulay decision ng misis

si friend A wala siya paki basta bili siya car na gusto niya, misis niya wala naman din paki basta may magamit

iba iba talaga set up ng couples

**dreamur** · April 29th, 2018 02:06 PM

^Yup, that is what you call mutual respect

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**_Cathy_** · April 29th, 2018 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by uls

i'm single so i wouldn't know

but from what i observed sa friends ko who are married...

meron dominante ang lalake, meron ung tinatawag na "kumander"

friend A has control of his own money, his own bank accounts, 1 night every week meron siya night out with barkada (strictly no wife kasama), other nights lumalabas with the wife, every sunday golf (no wife kasama),

friend B nakay misis ang pera, homebody, like other guys here "happy wife happy life"

pansin ko dito may mga guys nag ko-consult sa misis ano car ang bibilhin, pati kulay decision ng misis

si friend A wala siya paki basta bili siya car na gusto niya, misis niya wala naman din paki basta may magamit

iba iba talaga set up ng couples

I guess ideal satin kung ano yung kinalakihan natin. It worked for my parents so that's my idea of an ideal marriage.

My Dad gives his entire salary from his corporate job to my Mom. All other income is his. May lakad ang Dad ko na siya lang, may lakad Mom ko na siya lang. My Mom often goes on trips local/abroad with just her girl friends/cousins. My parents are not the type na hindi makagalaw pag hindi magkasama. My Dad is the decision maker at home. My Mom prefers it that way because she thinks my Dad's decision is the right decision. My Mom also thinks it is dysfunctional if the wife is domineering and it will have a negative effect of the children (especially on the son) My brother grew up strong, independent and maalaga so I suppose they did things right. Unlike yung cousin ko na inu under yung tatay niya ng nanay niya, ayun na bully sa school kasi lalamya lamya.

I have to admit na sa side ng Dad ko maraming failed marriage kasi our generation has difficulty cutting off from our parents. Mabuti tolerant Mom ko kasi paternal grandparents ko masyado makialam sa family namin

**Archerfish** · April 29th, 2018 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by uls

i'm single so i wouldn't know

but from what i observed sa friends ko who are married...

meron dominante ang lalake, meron ung tinatawag na "kumander"

friend A has control of his own money, his own bank accounts, 1 night every week meron siya night out with barkada (strictly no wife kasama), other nights lumalabas with the wife, every sunday golf (no wife kasama),

friend B nakay misis ang pera, homebody, like other guys here "happy wife happy life"

pansin ko dito may mga guys nag ko-consult sa misis ano car ang bibilhin, pati kulay decision ng misis

si friend A wala siya paki basta bili siya car na gusto niya, misis niya wala naman din paki basta may magamit

iba iba talaga set up ng couples

The husband, being designated as the leader should decide. It is not being dominant. We have our own roles. It is just that the husband should consult his wife but in the end he should be the one to decide and bare the brunt of any consequences of that decision.

The same is true in raising up your children. You can delegate some of your tasks but you can never delegate your responsibility as a father.

One of the reasons why married couples get separated is the reversal of roles. Another is when you are physically separated for a very long time. The list can go on...

In my case for our finances, I let my wife decide for daily budget as she is really good at it. For substantial amount, I do it for I am better equipped to handle this.

You see, the husband and wife should "complement" each other and not "compete" with each other. Again, without the reversal of roles.