Qantas Airline Flight Mechanics

[mantoy]

Share ko lang baka matawa kayo. kasi ako sumakit tyan ko sa kakataw eh.
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Qantas Airline Flight Mechanics

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a
gripe sheet thatconveys to the mechanics problems encountered with theaircraftduring the flight, which need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem and then respond in
writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance
complaints and problems as submitted by Quantas pilots and the
solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

Quantas, by the way, is the only major airline that
has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[mk]

hahaha

[wreckless]

nyehehehe!

[x-wind]

jok jok jok

[5Speed]

NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

hmmm....straight to the point naman yung mga solutions ah....

HARHARHAHRARHAR...like "MOUSE IN THE COCKPIT" solution: 'CAT INSTALLED'

HARHARHARHARHAR

[angst]

ground crew ng PAL now, Lufthansa Technik... sinusubmit nila dati sa office namin yung gripe sheets for us to review, pero sayang, wala kami na-eencounter na ganyan.