speaking of one liners....

[silver_corolla]

Having one child makes you a parent;
having two & you are a referee.
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always right and the other is husband!
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I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.
I tried - but they wanted cash.
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A child's greatest period of growth is the month
after you've purchased new school uniforms.
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Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
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Don't marry the person you want to live with,
marry the one you cannot live without,
but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
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You can't buy love ... but you pay heavily for it.
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True friends stab you in the front
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Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for
hurting me.
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Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote.
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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting
before you get tired.
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to
her or she'll take it anyway.
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My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong
and she agrees with me.
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Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job
to others.
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Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
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It doesn't matter how often a married man changes
his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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Early to bed,
early to rise,
your girl goes out
with other guys.
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Real friends are the ones who survive transitions
between address books.
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Saving is the best thing. Especially when your
parents have done it for you.
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Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something.
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They call our language the mother tongue because
the father seldom gets to speak.

[badkuk]

ayus ah...parang quotable quotes sa reader's digest B).

[bardigones]

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do
not vote.

beri tru.

[silhouette]

nice bro!

pwede ba 'to...
'tell me who your friends are and i'll tell you mine'.

[Bogeyman]

Eto ang maganda, by Edward Norton in 25th Hour:

"Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends."

[baiskee]

nice! nice!

noypi version naman.

"tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib." naks. ;)

[mikaztro]

Power corrupts...absolute power corrupts absolutely.
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THE OLDEN RULE: One who is old makes the rule
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Talking is Silver while Silence is GOLD
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[konde]

"be wary of the toes you step on today! they may be connected to asses you will kiss tomorrow!"

[kimpOy]

One Liner Jokes by the Late Rodney Dangerfield

"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. "

"My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no *** life at all."

"When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home."

"My kid's the worst. For my birthday present, he put super glue in my Preperation H"

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"It's been a rough day. I got up this morning... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

"My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one of them had VD."

"On Halloween... the parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year... one kid tried to rip my face off! Now it's different... when I answer the door the kids hand me candy."

"They say... Love thy neighbor as thy self... What am I supposed to do? jerk him off too?"

"I knew a girl that was so ugly that I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her."
_________________

[bardigones]

the golden rule:

he who has the gold makes the rules.

gary lising: "i was the only abortion that survived."