Living with My Family while Raising my own Family

[marktams86]

Ang hirap pala talaga maki tira sa parents mo when you're raising your family as well.. Such a tough balancing act to accomplish.. You do not know when to be the good son/ brother of your parents and siblings or the strong father and husband for your wife/daughter. I feel like i'm becoming distant to my family kahit nasa isang bahay lang kami at parang kulang lagin yung time ko sa wife and daughter ko.

Any advise on how I could get through this situation?

Sana kumita pa nang mas malaki so we can afford our own house na talaga. Hirap din kasi mag rent parang balewala yung hinuhulog mo monthly.

[1D4LV]

hwag mo na isipin yung rent expense mo, ganun talaga yun.

it will make you more comfortable, your wife more comfortable and your kids growing up not spoiled if you move out.
hindi ka maka decision ng maayos nyan, yung wife mo, hirap makisama pag andun kayo in one roof.

everybody does or went through it.

ako before, we rented for three years before we got our own house..... ok lang yung nawala na rent expenses, mababawi mo rin naman yun. kaya hwag manghinayang.

[marktams86]

hwag mo na isipin yung rent expense mo, ganun talaga yun.

it will make you more comfortable, your wife more comfortable and your kids growing up not spoiled if you move out.
hindi ka maka decision ng maayos nyan, yung wife mo, hirap makisama pag andun kayo in one roof.

everybody does or went through it.

ako before, we rented for three years before we got our own house..... ok lang yung nawala na rent expenses, mababawi mo rin naman yun. kaya hwag manghinayang.

thanks for your inputs sir.. sana nga lang we could also afford to rent.. eh ngayon pa nga lang lagi pa rin kami nabibitin sa budget what more kung kami na lahat magbayad, meralco, water, etc... haay buhay...

[1D4LV]

thanks for your inputs sir.. sana nga lang we could also afford to rent.. eh ngayon pa nga lang lagi pa rin kami nabibitin sa budget what more kung kami na lahat magbayad, meralco, water, etc... haay buhay...

adjust lang sa ibang gastos like kain sa labas, etc.
get even a small space.... maski 2 bedrooms lang.....
kami dati, net pay namin is 7k/month lang, combined.
we still managed to rent out a space at 3k/month.
4k was left to spend for expenses like electricity, water and food.
ni mcdonalds nga nun, hindi kami makakain eh.

[marktams86]

Wow... ang galing nun ah... talagang sakripisyo lang... quite inspiring sir...

[Retz]

yan nga unang adivse ng cefam (center of family ministries in ateneo) during marriage counselling, stay away from your parents/biyenan after you get married.

[skybison]

well, in the first place bakit ka nagpamilya na hindi mo pa kaya?

moving forward, that's your risk living with your parents/siblings. Like 1D4LV said hindi talaga kayo makakilos ng maayos magasawa/pamilya nyan. Tiis talaga at matuto mabuhay within your means.

We rented a condo(small/1bedroom) weeks before we got married, after a year naglipat kme sa mas malaki na apartment(2br), then ngayon after two years nakapagipon na pangdown ng sariling bahay. Tumaas kasi ang rent and nasasayangan na kme (hindi na kaya ipikitmata).

Life is all about choices.

[mateomarco]

adjust lang sa ibang gastos like kain sa labas, etc.
get even a small space.... maski 2 bedrooms lang.....
kami dati, net pay namin is 7k/month lang, combined.
we still managed to rent out a space at 3k/month.
4k was left to spend for expenses like electricity, water and food.
ni mcdonalds nga nun, hindi kami makakain eh.

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

[d'flash]

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

mayaman na yan si sir 1D4LV

[1D4LV]

Just to inspire further, how are you doing now financially?

hehehehe. secret....ayoko atang ilabas ang buhay and properties ko dito..... hehehehehehe.

pero to share how we started.

we are renting a place (two bedroom apartment) a month before we got married, the night after our wedding, we moved in to a place na hindi kagandahan, no furnitures. the only thing i got is my TV na black and white na nawawala ang picture pag climax na nung movie na pinanonood ko an electric fan and a radio. we used to eat sa hagdan because we do not have a dining table. ang lungkot nga namin nung first week namin ni misis dun, dahil naninibago kami sa place.. i grew up in a prestigous village sa south, while si misis, lumaki sa prestigous village sa QC.

pundar muna kami ng kasangkapan the next two years (una-una lang). inuna namin ang kama dahil mahirap matulog sa papag, tapos dining table, tapos TV, tapos yung iba na, and nakakuha ako ng sarili naming bahay after five years which we still live the past 15 years.

after namin nakakuha ng bahay, nagipon pa kami ng mga two years pa then nakabili ako ng second hand lancer singkit dahil binenta ko din yung oto ko nung binata ako para gastusin sa kasal dahil hindi din ako humingi sa parents ko.

then the rest is history.

but proud to say, hindi kami humingi ng maski singko sa parents namin.... kung meron man silang ibibigay, tangapin, pero hindi kami humingi.... lahat ay pinaghirapan.

remember, everything has to start of from scratch so you'll appreciate the hardwork, the money and your relationship with your wife.

budget? lahat sa amin nakalista, hanggang ngayon. we save 15% from our semi-monthly pay and leave the rest sa expenses.... zero liabilities kami dahil we don't use loans and we don't use credit cards, lahat cash basis. we have a target of a certain amount (e.g. Php 150,000.00), tapos pag naabot namin yun, nililipat namin sa higher yielding investments and start to build up the savings fund again.. paulit ulit lang.

pero, hindi kami tikis.... we still eat out every weekends, go out on vacation every summer, buy necessities lang (e.g. shoes, clothes, etc..) hindi kami bumibili ng hindi kailangan so walang excess junk sa bahay.... lahat ginagamit.... yung mga kinalakihan o kinaliitang damit, we give to charity para walang wastage.